{"id":222,"date":"2019-08-16T13:41:10","date_gmt":"2019-08-16T12:41:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.nfshost.com\/?p=222"},"modified":"2019-08-16T13:45:30","modified_gmt":"2019-08-16T12:45:30","slug":"dsdvoices-endosex-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/2019\/08\/16\/dsdvoices-endosex-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"DSDvoices: Endosex Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Guest post by a parent of a child with mixed gonadal dysgenesis.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ultrasound. And with it, the excitement of being able to discover the sex of your growing baby far sooner than earlier generations. A modern rite of passage along the pathway of prospective parenthood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps\nthat excitement fraudulently obscured the reality that would unfold. Perhaps\nthat\u2019s why, after my partner\u2019s fourth scan, alarm bells weren\u2019t ringing that we\nstill couldn\u2019t ascertain the sex. No red flags waved. Not then. Not for us. Nor\nfor the doctors who should have realised that something wasn\u2019t quite as it\nusually was. Who might have been able to, in some small part at least, have\nprepared us for what was trundling our way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead,\nat 11pm on the night of the birth, we were hastily informed our baby would be\nflying out to the nearest Newborn Intensive Care Unit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\nflight heralded a protracted period of tension and worry that, thankfully,\npasses most parents by. It triggered a whirlwind of every test that can be\nimagined \u2013 and many more that can\u2019t \u2013 as the medical profession strived to\ndetermine our baby\u2019s sex. It was, and still is, such a confusing, terrifying\ntime. Not really knowing what was happening or what the future might hold for\nthe little one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As\nI reflect on the journey this has been, and continues to be, I cannot help but\nnotice the vast amounts of medical involvement necessary, at every milestone,\nwhen a baby is born with ambiguity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For\nexample, this week, my child and I attended yet another appointment with a\ndoctor. It was a second visit as I sought a recommendation to a Pediatric\nEndocrinologist. This is the person who deals with hormones for children, who\nwould help my child to start puberty, (is puberty privilege a thing?) and, in\ndoing so, hopefully offer the prospect of as normal a life as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right\nnow, I also have to figure out where to take him to see a Pediatric Urologist.\nWherever that may be, it will certainly involve a seven hour car journey. And\nwho knows how long we\u2019d have to stay there. A lot of the questions about how\nthis will affect him psychologically, or what puberty will be like for him,\nremain unanswered. This is because no-one can actually answer them. These\nproblems don\u2019t appear to have been looked into on a sufficient enough scale\nthat would help establish the best course of action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\nmuch of the experience of intersex people is affected by a severe lack of\nresearch. It seems that science and medicine are fumbling in the dark when\npresented with intersex cases. The inability to answer these questions is, in\npart, due to the involvement with other groups. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nintersex is added to LGBT, that then indicates the major focus of advancement\nfor the benefit of intersex people is a social issue. Yes, there are a lot of\nmisunderstandings about intersex conditions and awareness does help. Certainly,\nthere are intersex people who do feel invisible, not accepted for the identity\nthey are, but that is a conversation for another article.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\nis a bigger issue, for myself and other parents at least, which is the\nrelationship with the medical community. \nI know that my child will be taking hormones for the rest of his\nlife.  He cannot develop and grow without\nthem.  His entire life, health and\ngrowth, will be affected by the standards of care received from the medical\nprofessionals.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So,\nwhen intersex is included with other groups, successes for that unrelated group\nbecome a societal misunderstanding that intersex is also benefiting from those\nsuccesses. Thus, social awareness becomes the primary focus of advocacy and vital\nquestions are never asked – because a person unaffected would never know they required\nasking. Much needed medical understanding has become a casualty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nchanges needed for the benefit of intersex children are, first and foremost,\nfounded in the medical field. Whether this is trying to prevent unnecessary\ncosmetic surgeries or changing the level of difficulty currently faced to\ndevelop as normally as possible. In addition, the scarce availability of\nmedical care is quite daunting \u2013 seven hour car ride? Bleh! It can deter people\nfrom seeking help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Any\ngroup that wants to tack intersex onto their advocacy, yet doesn\u2019t think the\nmedical experience is relevant, is only working on a very small part of the\nneeds of the whole group.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\nhuge benefit for intersex children, teens and adults would be advancement in\nresearch on the medical side for addressing intersex diagnoses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As\na wise woman once said: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\ndon\u2019t want the next generation of intersex children to experience what we do.\nWe want them to have a better experience.\u201d    – Claire Graham<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\nremains one of the most profound statements about what the direction of\nintersex advocacy should be. The experience we should be trying to make better must\nabsolutely include the medical arena.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest post by a parent of a child with mixed gonadal dysgenesis. The ultrasound. And with it, the excitement of being able to discover the sex of your growing baby far sooner than earlier generations. A modern rite of passage along the pathway of prospective parenthood. Perhaps that excitement fraudulently obscured the reality that would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[39,4,41],"tags":[30,6,55],"class_list":["post-222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dsdvoices","category-intersex","category-lgbt","tag-dsd","tag-intersex","tag-lgbt","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=222"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":225,"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions\/225"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrkhvoice.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}